I recall when our kids were younger and one of them misbehaved towards another, we would make them go apologize. "Go tell your brother you're sorry," we might say. Eventually they would do that, saying the "I'm sorry" with a tone of voice that made it clear they were anything but sorry. But they had fulfilled the requirement, and so life went on. We adults often do the same thing-- we just cover it up better. We advance apologies and excuses that we don't really mean; we pretend to like people that we really don't like; we give gifts not out of generosity but out of peer pressure or to look good. We say or do one thing, but our hearts have a completely different attitude. Of course we justify this behavior by telling ourselves that we can't really like everyone, and that a set of social niceties is required for people to get along. We don't really have to care for one another, we might say, we just have to avoid conflict and look like we care. Baloney, Jesus says today (Mt 5: 20-26). What really matters is what is in our hearts, and it isn't good enough to look like you care about someone else when in reality, you don't. Important as it is to offer gifts to God, Jesus tells us, it is even more important, more imperative, that we establish right relationships with those around us. Note that Jesus speaks of our understanding that our brother has "anything against" us, not of the situation where we have something against someone else. Jesus expects us to know when someone else has a problem with what we have said or done, and go out of our way to fix that, whether the other's problem with us is justified or not. Not only do we have to put our own hearts in the right place, it seems, but Jesus demands that we repair relationships from the perspective of the other person, not just from our perspective. Settle with your opponents, jesus tells us. As a lawyer I gave that advice often, and clients would say: "But I'm right-- the other side should be the one wanting to settle." "Doesn't matter," I would say, "and they are saying the same thing. You're better off settling than risking what a jury will do." As is so often the case, Jesus holds us to a really-high standard here. It is tough enough to settle with your opponents; it is even harder not to nurse a grudge; it is hardest of all to put yourself in someone else's shoes and make sure that what you are doing works for them. It takes daily effort, a regular examination of our motives, a softening of our hearts and a good dose of God's help. Socrates famously said that an unexamined life is not worth living. Jesus would have agreed with that. Where is there a "brother" in your life who has something against you that you need to repair?