Today is the feast day of Saint Joseph, or, as the Church more-formally names it: the "Solemnity of Saint Joseph, husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary." I mention the formal title because to me it says a lot about how the Church has failed to take advantage of Joseph as a great saint and role model. We talk about Mary a lot, and in some circles she is elevated to a place that rivals that of Jesus. No need to get into the theological debates about that here. But, it seems beyond dispute that we have so much discussion about Mary that there is no time left for Joseph. Even on his feast day, Joseph is defined by a reference to "the Blessed Virgin Mary." It is almost as if Joseph is an after-thought, someone who we would not even consider to be a saint if it were not for his connection with Mary. Think of our Church songs. There are lots and lots of them that talk of Mary. Can you think of one that holds up the example of Joseph? OK, I suppose there must be some, but they don't leap to mind. Or think of the prayers we hold dear-- like the rosary. Again, easy to find lots of references to Mary, and harder to see Joseph. I could go on but you get the point. I think the lack of focus on Joseph is a particular shame at this time in our history when we are so short of role models for husbands and fathers. We seem to idolize wealth and power in male figures, and as role models have sports figures, politicians and entertainment figures whose actions are far from Christian. We really need someone like Joseph. If we look in the Gospels-- especially in today's reading from Matthew (Mt 1:16, 18-21, 24A) I think a good case can be made for the proposition that Joseph gives us a model for Christian life that is every bit as valuable as the model of Mary-- but a model from a male perspective (which may explain why it has gotten less traction). Think of the whole story of Jesus' conception. Both Mary and Joseph learn of the facts from an angel, although Mary is told before she conceives and Joseph learns of it only after Mary is "found to be with child." When Mary is told of God's plan for her, she pushes back a bit. How can this be, she says, since I have not had relations with a man? After the angel explains what will happen, Mary gives her assent (her great "Fiat") and Jesus is conceived. The first thing after that, of course, is that Mary leaves in haste to see her kinswoman, Elizabeth, presumably to discuss what has just happened. Compare that with what we read today about Joseph. He has learned that his wife, whom he has married but with whom the marriage has not yet been consummated precisely so that everyone will be sure that a child of the marriage will have been fathered by Joseph, is "with child." Imagine Joseph's anger, shock, disappointment. The woman who he thought he knew, and clearly loved, has been with another man, even before their marriage had really begun. Yet, Joseph still has the great mercy not to leave Mary to the law, whereby she could have been severely punished, but has decided to divorce her quietly. It is hard to see many male role models these days who would make that choice. Wouldn't we see a tweet story of indignation and shaming, to be followed by a "tell-all" series of articles? So, straight out of the box, Joseph is trying to be the best person he can be with respect to Mary, despite what she so-obviously appears to have done. Then the angel appears to Joseph and tells him that Mary's child has been conceived "through the Holy Spirit," not as a result of her being unfaithful with another man. Wouldn't you expect that, like Mary, Joseph would have felt the need to ask some questions about that? After all, Mary knew what had happened (or had not happened) with respect to her body. Joseph didn't. Joseph already thought he knew the facts. But he accepts the angel's startling information without protest. In fact, Joseph doesn't need to think about it or discuss it with anyone. He just hears what the angel says and gets up and does "as the angel of the Lord had commanded him." He doesn't even feel the need to say his own "Fiat," or to verbalize assent. He just follows God's orders. Of course, we know that this sort of unquestioning assent to God's will happens at least twice more with Joseph, once when the angel tells him to take Mary and the baby Jesus and flee to Egypt, and again when the angel tells him to return to Israel. No apparent concern for his carpentry business. No questioning. No agonizing. He just does what he knows God is telling him to do, recognizing in God's will the best possible plan for Mary and Jesus. In fact, in all three of these events when Joseph acts as the angel tells him to act, the benefit is mostly for Jesus and Mary. Imagine the difficulty (impossibility, really) for Mary in giving birth and caring for jesus if Joseph had done what he was fully entitled to do, and what seemed like the best thing for his personal well-being, and gone ahead and divorced Mary quietly. Ditto the flight to Egypt-- nothing in it for Joseph, and Jesus wasn't even his child, after all. Wonderful male role-model stuff-- sacrificing for one's wife and adopted child, obeying God regardless of the consequences, not just talking about doing something but doing it. Think about the question of whether Mary could have been who she was, and done what she did, without Joseph. Wouldn't it be great for all the men and boys out there is every time we honored Mary, we reminded ourselves of the strong, quiet man behind the scenes who made it all possible?